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Difficult Conversations

How to Discuss What Matters Most

Foreword by Roger Fisher
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The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"

We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:

· Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation
· Start a conversation without defensiveness
· Listen for the meaning of what is not said
· Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations
· Move from emotion to productive problem solving
“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.”
—The New York Times

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.”
—Booklist

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.”
—Tom Peters

“A user-friendly guide to mastering the talks we dread . . . a keeper.”
—Fast Company 

“Emotional intelligence applied to life’s toughest moments.”
—Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence

“The only people who shouldn’t read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.”
—Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline

“How do you confront your ex-spouse who’s late picking up the kids? How do you tell a client their project took longer than expected and the bill is twice as high? How do you say ‘I’m sorry’? Start by picking up Difficult Conversations.”
—Citizen

Difficult Conversations will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives.”
—Library Journal

“Stone, Patton, and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format.”
—Publishers Weekly

“The central insights of Difficult Conversations so resonate with common sense that it is easy to overlook just how remarkable of a book it is . . . a must-read.”
—Harvard Negotiation Law Review

“Examples more clear-headed and advice more precise than we’ve seen before.”
—Dallas Morning News

“Stone, Patton, and Heen have written an extremely clear and unpretentious exposition of how to develop effective communication skills and a guide to achieving openness and constructive outcomes in dialogue . . . this book is, and probably for some time to come will be definitive.”
—Southern Communication Journal 
Douglas Stone is a lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. With Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also a coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Sheila Heen). He lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Douglas Stone
Bruce Patton is cofounder and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. With Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also the co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes. View titles by Bruce Patton
© Joe Wallace
Sheila Heen is a lecturer on law at Harvard Law School. With Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, she wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. She is also a co-author of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Douglas Stone). She lives near Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Sheila Heen

About

The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"

We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:

· Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation
· Start a conversation without defensiveness
· Listen for the meaning of what is not said
· Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations
· Move from emotion to productive problem solving

Praise

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.”
—The New York Times

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.”
—Booklist

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.”
—Tom Peters

“A user-friendly guide to mastering the talks we dread . . . a keeper.”
—Fast Company 

“Emotional intelligence applied to life’s toughest moments.”
—Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence

“The only people who shouldn’t read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.”
—Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline

“How do you confront your ex-spouse who’s late picking up the kids? How do you tell a client their project took longer than expected and the bill is twice as high? How do you say ‘I’m sorry’? Start by picking up Difficult Conversations.”
—Citizen

Difficult Conversations will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives.”
—Library Journal

“Stone, Patton, and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format.”
—Publishers Weekly

“The central insights of Difficult Conversations so resonate with common sense that it is easy to overlook just how remarkable of a book it is . . . a must-read.”
—Harvard Negotiation Law Review

“Examples more clear-headed and advice more precise than we’ve seen before.”
—Dallas Morning News

“Stone, Patton, and Heen have written an extremely clear and unpretentious exposition of how to develop effective communication skills and a guide to achieving openness and constructive outcomes in dialogue . . . this book is, and probably for some time to come will be definitive.”
—Southern Communication Journal 

Author

Douglas Stone is a lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. With Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also a coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Sheila Heen). He lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Douglas Stone
Bruce Patton is cofounder and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. With Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also the co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes. View titles by Bruce Patton
© Joe Wallace
Sheila Heen is a lecturer on law at Harvard Law School. With Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, she wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. She is also a co-author of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Douglas Stone). She lives near Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Sheila Heen

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