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Difficult Conversations

How to Discuss What Matters Most

Author Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
Foreword by Roger Fisher
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Paperback
$22.00 US
Penguin Adult HC/TR | Penguin Books
On sale Aug 22, 2023 | 400 Pages | 9780143137597
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From the Harvard Negotiation Project—which brought you the megabestseller GETTING TO YES—this practical guide will help you handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill

Whether dealing with an underperforming employee or a challenging colleague, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a client, or simply saying "No," "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration.
 
This book can help. Based on almost thirty years of research, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You'll learn how to:

• Decipher the underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation
• Raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness
• Manage strong emotions—yours and theirs
• Keep your balance no matter how the other person responds
• Get to the heart of the matter in ways that promote learning and build relationships

Filled with examples from everyday life, this third edition is thoroughly updated and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, social media, and communicating via technology as we talk to one another across the world—and across worldviews. With constructive communication an ever more critical need in personal, professional, and public life, Difficult Conversations is a classic you will turn to again and again for powerful, practical advice.
“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.”
—The New York Times

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.”
—Booklist

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.”
—Tom Peters

“A user-friendly guide to mastering the talks we dread . . . a keeper.”
—Fast Company 

“Emotional intelligence applied to life’s toughest moments.”
—Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence

“The only people who shouldn’t read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.”
—Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline

“How do you confront your ex-spouse who’s late picking up the kids? How do you tell a client their project took longer than expected and the bill is twice as high? How do you say ‘I’m sorry’? Start by picking up Difficult Conversations.”
—Citizen

“Difficult Conversations will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives.”
—Library Journal

“Stone, Patton, and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format.”
—Publishers Weekly

“The central insights of Difficult Conversations so resonate with common sense that it is easy to overlook just how remarkable of a book it is . . . a must-read.”
—Harvard Negotiation Law Review

“Examples more clear-headed and advice more precise than we’ve seen before.”
—Dallas Morning News

“Stone, Patton, and Heen have written an extremely clear and unpretentious exposition of how to develop effective communication skills and a guide to achieving openness and constructive outcomes in dialogue . . . this book is, and probably for some time to come will be definitive.”
—Southern Communication Journal 
Douglas Stone is a lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. With Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also a coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Sheila Heen). He lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Douglas Stone
Bruce Patton is cofounder and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. With Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also the co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes. View titles by Bruce Patton
© Joe Wallace
Sheila Heen is a lecturer on law at Harvard Law School. With Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, she wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. She is also a co-author of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Douglas Stone). She lives near Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Sheila Heen

About

From the Harvard Negotiation Project—which brought you the megabestseller GETTING TO YES—this practical guide will help you handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill

Whether dealing with an underperforming employee or a challenging colleague, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a client, or simply saying "No," "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration.
 
This book can help. Based on almost thirty years of research, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You'll learn how to:

• Decipher the underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation
• Raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness
• Manage strong emotions—yours and theirs
• Keep your balance no matter how the other person responds
• Get to the heart of the matter in ways that promote learning and build relationships

Filled with examples from everyday life, this third edition is thoroughly updated and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, social media, and communicating via technology as we talk to one another across the world—and across worldviews. With constructive communication an ever more critical need in personal, professional, and public life, Difficult Conversations is a classic you will turn to again and again for powerful, practical advice.

Praise

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.”
—The New York Times

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.”
—Booklist

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.”
—Tom Peters

“A user-friendly guide to mastering the talks we dread . . . a keeper.”
—Fast Company 

“Emotional intelligence applied to life’s toughest moments.”
—Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence

“The only people who shouldn’t read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.”
—Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline

“How do you confront your ex-spouse who’s late picking up the kids? How do you tell a client their project took longer than expected and the bill is twice as high? How do you say ‘I’m sorry’? Start by picking up Difficult Conversations.”
—Citizen

“Difficult Conversations will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives.”
—Library Journal

“Stone, Patton, and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format.”
—Publishers Weekly

“The central insights of Difficult Conversations so resonate with common sense that it is easy to overlook just how remarkable of a book it is . . . a must-read.”
—Harvard Negotiation Law Review

“Examples more clear-headed and advice more precise than we’ve seen before.”
—Dallas Morning News

“Stone, Patton, and Heen have written an extremely clear and unpretentious exposition of how to develop effective communication skills and a guide to achieving openness and constructive outcomes in dialogue . . . this book is, and probably for some time to come will be definitive.”
—Southern Communication Journal 

Author

Douglas Stone is a lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. With Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also a coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Sheila Heen). He lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Douglas Stone
Bruce Patton is cofounder and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. With Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone he wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. He is also the co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes. View titles by Bruce Patton
© Joe Wallace
Sheila Heen is a lecturer on law at Harvard Law School. With Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project, she wrote the international bestseller Difficult Conversations. She is also a co-author of the New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback (written with Douglas Stone). She lives near Cambridge, Massachusetts. View titles by Sheila Heen

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